Overwhelmed


That feeling is defining my life right now. Over the past week and onward, anyway. I have one test left for school (which should have been done months ago, but…life happened). I am juggling several freelance jobs, which I love, but combined with the fact that I’m studying like a mad woman and my brain cannot seem to concentrate on anything for more than half an hour, the bank just essentially seized one of our accounts (which had ALL the money from my totaled car in it) because it was originally opened as a joint account between my dh and his recently deceased father (years and years ago), which means until the estate is settled that money won’t be released to us again – to the tune of several thousand dollars. This is seriously putting a cramp on graduating, as there are several fees entailed in that (seriously…why do I need to pay for graduation when I’ve already paid tuition, class fees, etc.?).

I’ve been trying to take a day here and there to relax, but I usually just wind up feeling guilty and more stressed than before. Like yesterday I went to a horsemanship clinic with my sister in law. It was awesome, but it was an all day event, and in the back of my mind was constantly this little nagging voice, telling me I should be working or studying. And this morning, while drinking my coffee, I decided to work on my Evenstar Shawl instead of studying right off…and I messed it up. Not hugely, but enough to have to tink about a row and a half, which is a huge pain on these needles I’m using.

Can I cry now? I just feel like I can’t take one. more. thing.

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